I wasn’t even through my opening cat/cows when I spotted her.

Shit.

Why does this always have to happen to me?

I casually glance around the full studio for anyone else who has it too.

No signs.

Shit.

As the teacher queues our alternate nostril breathing, I peek out of my left eye to follow her.

Noticing her size, her shape and her flight pattern.

At first I think she’s a yellow jacket. If so, she’s definitely in trouble - the most hated flying thing.

As she moves, I switch my eye peeking to my right with the next inhale queue.

Hmmm, her size is rather large. I don’t think she’s a yellow jacket. I settle on a wasp.

My heart starts to sadden. In analyzing how there’s zero chance of her getting out of here alive on her own. We’re on the second floor. No open doors or windows. Just these floor to ceiling windows that keep her confused and dizzy.

I get back into my routine feeling sorry for myself spiral… why me? Why am I the only one in the studio… in the freaking WORLD… that even notices the natural world? It’s so freaking clear that she needs help and my heart hardens knowing I, once again, am the only one in the studio who understands… or moreso, cares.

My mind goes into my anger at humans. Generalizing them all. For being so cold and shut off that they don’t even notice a beautiful buzzing soul who needs our help

In another instant my brain darts to the multiple scenarios and many lives we’ve saved in store and public places. Moths, bees, flies - all stuck in the same window-locked hell of seeing their home, but ramming their bodies over and over not being able to understand why they can’t reach it.

I jolt back to my burnout with humans. And how I wish I wasn’t so burned out with them. With our society. Okay, it’s not all humans.

But every downward dog that goes on hummingly while this winged-kin exhausts herself, both enrages and hardens my heart even further.

Too consumed with ourselves. Wrapped in our own bubble of our brains, we’ve grown to a place in the world where people are more blind to the earth and numb to how nature is alive and reaching for us.

As someone I would call an Earth Empath - I do notice. I have a radar to find any animal, insect or being that is struggling. I am highly attuned to the earth, so I notice what most people don’t even see. I worry about things others don’t. The “For Sale” sign on the small lot that appears to be “free land”, but I see the entire community of prairie dogs that live there. What will happen to them? What will happen when they go? When the community vanishes and no one notices.

My hopelessness in the yoga class that was supposed to help me with that… continues.

There was a moment where my spirit sparked and I thought my miracle prayer had been answered and she did escape!

On my next half lift… my heart sank again with my forward fold seeing her back trying the other window.

Every time she slammed her tiny body against the glass, I felt my shame as a human sink further.

How long could she do this? How long do insects try to survive before suffering to death?

I tried psychically communicating with her to promise her I would save her.

Then I thought about all these people.

The ones I shared the room with but secretly resented. For the blindness I don’t even know they were aware of.

The entire cool down sequence I plotted my saviour plan. I would need something to put her in and a paper to close the top.

I thought about using my hand if I had to, but I didn’t want to hurt both of us in the process.

Suddenly, another voice popped into my ear, “Taylor just let her go, you can’t save the fucking world and every insect, it’s just a wasp.” And my soul quickly slapped that idea away.

While living this way is so painful - I have started to accept - I am this person.

I am one that sees the earth as alive. I see it all. How people rip out wildflowers for a quick photo and then toss them on the ground without a blink of an eye. I know how those flowers were not only beings themself, but food for many and shelter for others, nourishment for the soil.

I am a person who notices where the earth is suffering. Where our wild kin are impacted by our decisions. And it is a really painful life to live. Would I change it if I could? I don’t know to be honest. The older I get, the more my sensitivity opens. And it’s hardened me to the world.

I’m making an effort though to really see the good in humans and remember that we aren’t all bad and all completely asleep.

In savasana, I committed.

I decided I was going to help her get home, even if it took me until the next class. Even if people watched me out of the side of their eyes while catching up about life with their friend after class.

That’s me. The weird one. Saving wasps instead of talking about reality tv.

I wish there were more of me. Are there more of me? I genuinely don’t know. I haven’t found anyone.

Laying still in resting pose was the hardest part, but I complied with the societal norms once again. But as soon as we namasted, the mission was on. The first glance into the main room was a moment sent from heaven. On the table - I saw both a paper cup and a paper towel. I b-lined it to them.

I glanced around the bustling scene of everyone laughing and rolling up their mats. No one noticed, I was invisible.

It took me a breath to find her, but she was still there. Slamming her poor bruised body against the window.

I paused for a moment and told her I was going to help her.

What happened next shocked me.

I was prepared for 15 minutes of trying to capture her.

I slowly moved in and she nearly crawled IN the cup.

That’s when I noticed it. She wasn’t a wasp, she was the most beautiful honey bee I’d ever seen. Not that that matters, I love them all the same, but it was like a gift for me saving her. Her beauty. Almost black and grey stripes, she was a big size too.

I calmly placed the paper towel over the opening and turned back to the studio. Thinking I’d now have eyes blinking at me. Or maybe another sensitive soul that would tell me, “thank you so much, I was worried about her too.” But again, no one noticed. No one noticed at all.

I felt so happy, so alive, so proud. The scene blurred. People talking and laughing around me, but in that moment, it was just me and the honey bee in the yoga studio. I managed to pack everything up with her in tow and felt emotion flow over me once we got outside.

I took a breath to reflect on it all. And a moment to nod to my soul and the Earth as their appreciation to me.

I slowly removed the paper towel top and she crawled out peacefully and after less than a blink, she flew off. “You’re free.” I whispered as I walked to my car feeling all the feels.

Three Ways to Become More Attuned & Helper of Nature

Sit outside your home for 5 minutes a day. No phone, no distractions. Notice who you share your space with.
Save a life. Next time you find a flying or crawly bug in your home or a public space, find a cup, piece of paper and gently place them outside for a second chance at life.
Don’t pick wildflowers. We don’t need them. Our wild ecosystems do. Only take photos.